A Night With Rufus & The Turks
by Deekz
Summary: A night with Rufus & the Turks. Futures pointlessness, insanity, and OOCness. Beware. Night 5 added. After a long wait. o.o;;
1. Night 1...

A Night With Rufus & The Turks  
  
By: Deekz  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final  
  
Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Deekz: *bursts through the door* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EVERYBODY!  
  
Reno: AHHHH! NOT SO LOUD!  
  
Deekz: Sowwy.  
  
Reno: Feh...still have 49 to go! *starts drinking his beer again*  
  
Deekz: oo; *pokes Rude* HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!  
  
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time...  
  
Deekz: ...  
  
Rude: ...  
  
Deekz: ...  
  
Rude: ...  
  
Deekz: ...  
  
Rude: ...  
  
Deekz: ...  
  
Rude: ...  
  
Deekz: *breaks down crying* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Rude: Did I do something wrong?  
  
Rufus: If you live with her, anything can happen...  
  
Deekz: *stops crying* *throws a boot at Rufus's head*  
  
Rufus: OW! What was that for?  
  
Deekz: Pass it on.  
  
Rufus: Oh... *throws the boot at Tseng*  
  
Tseng: HEY!  
  
Rufus: Pass it on.  
  
Tseng: *shrugs* *throws it at Elena*  
  
Elena: OW! *smacks Tseng*  
  
Tseng: OW! Pass it on!  
  
Elena: *stares at Reno, then his beer* *grins* *throws the boot straight at the beer*  
  
Reno: Okay, who the hell just did that?  
  
Everybody: *point at Elena*  
  
Elena: OO; Pass it on!  
  
Reno: ...fine! *throws it at Rude*  
  
Rude: *gets hit in the windpipe* *dies*  
  
Everybody: OO;  
  
Deekz: Do you think he's okay? *staring at Rude* oo; *pokes him with a stick*  
  
Rufus: Gee, whaddya think?  
  
Deekz: I think he's fine.  
  
Rufus: My GOD you are stupid.  
  
Deekz: Feh. I'm stupid, smart, and insane at the same time.  
  
Rufus: How's that possible?  
  
Deekz: I have fairy dust.  
  
Everybody: Oo;;;;;;;  
  
Tseng: Uh, I think we should revive Rude, though...  
  
Deekz: Good idea. I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!  
  
*nothing happens*  
  
Deekz: Er... I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE RUDE!  
  
*sadly, nothing happens again*  
  
Deekz: ~.~ *throws a mailbox out the window*  
  
Elena: Hey, that was mine!  
  
Deekz: Sowwy.  
  
Elena: *walks out the door* Now where did he throw it...? *sees a golden- colored chocobo coming  
  
her way* oO;; What could that be?  
  
Chocobo: WARKKKKKKKK! *tramples Elena*  
  
Elena: GRRR! *gets back up and waves her fist* I'll get you back!  
  
Cloud: AHHHH! GOLDY! COME BACK! *rushes by*  
  
Elena: O...kay... *finally finds her mailbox* *picks it up*  
  
Mailbox: Who dares to pick me up? *opens up its flap, revealing several razor-sharp envelopes*  
  
Elena: OO; What the hell...?  
  
Mailbox: ...I said, WHO DARES TO PICK ME UP?!  
  
Elena: You didn't do this when Deekz picked you up.  
  
Mailbox: Because Deekz and stupid and you're not.  
  
Elena: So you mean only stupid people can pick you up?  
  
Mailbox: That's right. Stupid people are smart and smart people are dumb.  
  
Elena: That doesn't make sense.  
  
Mailbox: Well, nevermind that, PUT ME DOWN!  
  
Elena: No! You're MY mailbox and you're coming with me!  
  
Mailbox: *starts shaking and turns red*  
  
Elena: Uh-oh... *runs into Deekz's house and locks all of the doors*  
  
Deekz: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ELENA!  
  
Elena: I think that mailbox has some problems...  
  
Deekz: WE REVIVEDDDDDDDD RUDEEEEEEEE!  
  
Elena: Geez! Do you always have to be that loud?  
  
Deekz: YESSSSSSSSS!  
  
Rude: ...you're interrupting my quiet time, AGAIN...  
  
Deekz: ...  
  
Rude: I'm not going through this again... oO;;  
  
*suddenly the door flies open*  
  
Mailbox: YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT, FOOLISH SMART PERSON!  
  
Elena: EEEEEEP!  
  
Mailbox: *begins firing* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Deekz: AHHHHHHH! DUCK FOR COVERRRRRR!  
  
Everybody: *dive behind couches*  
  
Elena: Hey, the Mailbox said that you were stupid.  
  
Deekz: Why, thank you.  
  
Everybody: oO;;  
  
Reno: What's she smoking?  
  
Rufus: Lots of stuff, I guess.  
  
Deekz: Yep. Plus a couple of sugar rushes.  
  
Tseng: That's not good for a person you age.  
  
Deekz: I'm stupid.  
  
Reno: Well isn't that nice to know?  
  
Deekz: Uh-huh. In fact, I don't even know what I'm writing about in this. You see, it has no  
  
plot!  
  
Reno: You mean this is all a fanfic?  
  
Deekz: Yes. I control you...bwahahahahahahahahahahaha...  
  
Rude: ...I see dead people...they're all around us...  
  
Everybody: oo;  
  
Deekz: Erm... *erases the Mailbox* *it disappears* You see? No more Mailbox!  
  
Rufus: Can you get rid of Elena, too?  
  
Deekz: Uh...okay... *erases Elena*  
  
Rufus: Thanks.  
  
*And they live happily ever after...*  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay. This is probably more on the stupid side then the humor side. Not even funny. I  
  
was just BORED, REALLY BORED when I wrote this. Flame me all you want. I won't care because I  
  
know this fic isn't good oO; Unless, for some odd reason, you want me to continue it... oo; 


	2. Night 2...

A Night With Rufus & The Turks  
  
By: Deekz  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Deekz: *runs in* HIIIIIIIIIII--AHHHHHHH! WHO ARE THESE OTHER PEOPLE?!?!?!?!  
  
Rufus: They're called AVALANCHE  
  
Deekz: Oh. I knew that! I knew that very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, *gasp* very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, *falls unconcious from not getting enough air*  
  
Everybody: oo;  
  
Rufus: Anybody have a Phoenix Down?  
  
Cloud: I do! *throws a Grenade at Deekz on accident* Oops!  
  
Rufus: GAH! *strangles Cloud*  
  
Cloud: ACK! He...lp...m...e...!!!  
  
Tifa: *smacks Rufus* Get your hands off him!  
  
Rufus: *cries* MOMMMMMMMMY!  
  
Reno: You don't have a mom.  
  
Rufus: I knew that.  
  
Reno: Sure you did. That's what Deekz said.  
  
Deekz: *concious* What did I say?  
  
Reno: AHHH! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE UNCONCIOUS!  
  
Deekz: I wrote this, so I can do whatever I want! Hoo-hah! *unerases Elena*  
  
Elena: *poofs back in*  
  
Deekz: It was Rufus, I swear!!!  
  
Elena: GRRR! *chases Rufus*  
  
Rufus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs out the door*  
  
Red XIII: *nibbles on Reno's shoe*  
  
Reno: oo;  
  
Red: *takes it off and chomps it in half*  
  
Reno: HEY!  
  
Red: *takes it do his dam and pats it down*  
  
Reno: What the hell...?  
  
Red: *nibbles on Deekz's hair*  
  
Deekz: NOOOO! MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR! *throws Red at Cloud*  
  
Cloud: AHHHH! MY HAIR! I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THAT!  
  
Red: *munches on Cloud's biggest spike* ^_^  
  
Cloud: Noooooooo... ;_;  
  
Deekz: THIS is for MY hair, damn you! *takes out a HUGE mallet and chases Red out the door and into the street*  
  
Rufus: AHHH! HELP ME! *still begin chased by Elena*  
  
Elena: *sees Red* Awwwww, he's soooo kyoot... *huggles him*  
  
Rufus: oo;  
  
Deekz: DIEEEEEEE RED! *slam* *flattens Elena & Red* OOPS! I only meant to kill Red!!!!!  
  
Rufus: Apparently you didn't.  
  
Deekz: That's it! I got an idea! We're all going to Mideel to revive them!  
  
Rufus: You're not an Ancient, Deekz. How many times do we have to tell you?  
  
Deekz: Yes I am! CIDDDDDDDD!  
  
Cid: What the f*** do you f***ing want because I'm f***ing drinking my god damn f***ing tea!! Tea 0wns j00!!  
  
Deekz: PLEASEEEEE can we borrow your Highwind?  
  
Cid: NO!  
  
Deekz: PLEASEEE! *gives him puppy eyes*  
  
Cid: NO!  
  
Deekz: *takes out her mallet and smacks Cid*  
  
Cid: xx  
  
Deekz: Oops, killed him too. Well, we can revive him in the Lifestream!!  
  
*and so they board the Highwind...*  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: You asked for a continuation, you GOT it! Again, I made this out of the top of my head, where many strange, strange things can happen. Will Deekz be able to revive Cid, Elena, and Red? Will she even be able to pilot the Highwind (Cid killed the people working on it because he was pissed off. Now you know the rage of Cid! AHHHH!)? Find out next time on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters! I mean, the next A Night With Rufus & The Turks!! 


	3. Night 3...

A Night With Rufus & The Turks  
  
By: Deekz  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Deekz: *flying the Highwind* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Rufus: GAHHH! WATCH OUT FOR THAT MOUNTAIN!  
  
Deekz: Where? WAHH! *barely dodges a mountain*  
  
Rufus: Phew...  
  
Yuffie: *all green* Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No.  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No.  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No.  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No.  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: NO! SHUT UP! *takes out her Intergalactic Fork and jabs Yuffie with it, turning her into an alien*  
  
Yuffie: OPUSNDFUNSDFIUNSDFUMAIEUSNF!!!  
  
Reno: What did she say?  
  
Deekz: I have no clue.  
  
Yuffie: *continues to scream out incomprehendable words*  
  
Barret: SHUT THE F*** UP DAMMIT! *shoots Yuffie*  
  
Yuffie: xx  
  
Deekz: Hey, thanks Barret.  
  
Rude: Nooo! You killed Yuffie!  
  
Reno: oo; So...?  
  
Rude: She was good in bed!!  
  
Everybody: OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Tifa: I thought that was Reno's job!  
  
Rude: Oops. I didn't say anything.  
  
Deekz: You scare me even more now Rude...oo;  
  
Rude: How so?  
  
Deekz: Well, first I was scared of you because you just look scary. Second, I was scared of you because you wouldn't say anything. Now you just said the third thing...oo;  
  
Rude: ...frekky...  
  
Deekz: THAT'S MY WORD! *hits Rude with a mallet*  
  
Rude: xx  
  
Vincent: Geez...everybody's dead...  
  
Deekz: Cool!  
  
Everybody: oO;;;;;  
  
Cloud: Geez, you're one violent girl.  
  
Deekz: I know.  
  
Reno: WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!  
  
Deekz: WAHHHH! *swurves to the right, then finally takes the time to look around* Where's the tree?  
  
Reno: HAHAHAHA! There is no tree. Aren't I evil?  
  
Deekz: Why you... *lunges at Reno*  
  
Reno: AHHHHHHH! *they both run off*  
  
Everybody: *blink as the Highwind just keeps on going straight*  
  
Rufus: ...well SOMEBODY has to pilot the Highwind...  
  
Everybody: *blink*  
  
Rufus: FINE! I'll do it! *starts piloting*  
  
An hour later...  
  
*everybody hops off the Highwind and into the abandoned Mideel*  
  
Tseng: Wait...where's Reno?  
  
Cloud: I think Deekz killed him?  
  
Reno: No, but I'm close...gah...*crawls out from the Highwind with several lumps in his head, both black eyes, a fat lip, and a broken arm*  
  
Deekz: Fear meeeeeee! Oooo! Purdy green Lifestream! *runs over to it* I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE MY FRIENDS!  
  
*nothing happens*  
  
Deekz: I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE MY FRIENDS!  
  
Lifestream: Damn you, you're interrupting my sleep!  
  
Deekz: I CALL UPON THE LIFESTREAM TO REVIVE MY FRIENDS!  
  
Lifestream: I can't revive your friends you moron!  
  
Deekz: Oh yeah?!  
  
Lifestream: Yeah!  
  
Deekz: Oh yeah?!  
  
Lifestream: Yeah!  
  
Reno: This is going to take a while...  
  
*Hours later*  
  
Deekz: Oh yeah?!  
  
Lifestream: Yeah!  
  
Deekz: *finally decides to resort to violence* *takes out a huge mallet*  
  
Yuffie: *was the only one who stayed up through all of this* HEY! SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!  
  
Everybody: *they wake up*  
  
Deekz: Bring it on!  
  
Lifestream: *throws the Bring it On DVD at Deekz* Happy?!  
  
Deekz: I didn't ask for that! *throws it back*  
  
Rufus: *suddenly appears in a GIRL's cheerleading uniform* *has pompoms in his hands* *jumps up and down, screaming in a high voice* GO DEEKZ! GO DEEKZ!  
  
Everybody: OO; *back away from Rufus*  
  
Deekz: DIE YOU VILE BEING! *swings her mallet, but it gets incinerated once it touches the Lifestream*  
  
Lifestream: WAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Deekz: *turns pale* You...you...you...YOU BASTARD!!!! GAHHHHHHH! *jumps into the Lifestream and gets incinerated*  
  
Reno: *kicks Rufus* Stop cheering!  
  
Rufus: Why?  
  
Reno: Because she's dead!  
  
Rufus: NOOOOOOO!  
  
Tifa: NOW what are we going to do?  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Wahahahaha...what ARE they going to do? I actually don't know. Why? Because I make everything out of the top of my head, that's why!! 


	4. Night 4...

A Night With Rufus & The Turks  
  
By: Deekz  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*  
  
  
  
  
  
Lifestream: WAHAHAHAHA! INSOLENT FOOLS!!  
  
Everybody: *unamused*  
  
Lifestream: Did you see what I did to Deekz? I incinerated her! She's nothing! I'll destroy the rest of you guys!  
  
Everybody: *still unamused*  
  
Lifestream: ...DAMMIT! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!  
  
Reno: *throws a tomato at the Lifestream* Die!  
  
Lifestream: Ewww! A tomato!  
  
Everybody: o_O; *take out tomatoes from their pockets and start throwing it at the Lifestream*  
  
Lifestream: AHHH! STOP IT! *dives back in the hole*  
  
Cloud: You know we DO have to revive our friends, right?  
  
Everybody: *nod*  
  
Cloud: SO STOP SCARING THE LIFESTREAM YOU DAMN IDIOTS!  
  
Everybody: *nod*  
  
Cloud: O_o;  
  
Lifestream: Wahahaha! I still rule the world!  
  
Everybody: *unamused*  
  
Lifestream: ...WAHHHH! MOMMY! THESE PEOPLE HURT MY FEEEEEEELINGSSS!  
  
Rufus: Waiiiiiiiit...the Lifestream has a mom?  
  
Lifestream: YEEEEEEEEE--------no I don't.  
  
Everybody: o_O;  
  
Rufus: Rioghttt...  
  
*there's silence for a moment*  
  
????: I've come to the rescue, my fellow friends!  
  
Everybody: *unamused*  
  
????: *lands in front of the group* Hah-ha!  
  
Tifa: *gasp* Can it truly be...  
  
Reno: THE STICK MAN FROM THE MOON!  
  
Stick Man: Hah-ha! You shall fear me, Lifestream!  
  
Lifestream: HAHAHAHAHA! Why?  
  
Stick Man: Because...because...I'M SMART AND YOU'RE DUMB!  
  
Lifestream: Fine, what's 2+2?  
  
Stick Man: You got me there. I think it's 9999999999999.  
  
Lifestream: WHOA! YOU ANSWERED IT RIGHT!  
  
Everybody: O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Stick Man: Hah! I am SMART! Now cough them up!  
  
Lifestream: No! I refuse!  
  
Stick Man: Argh! What's 1+1?  
  
Lifestream: 123!  
  
Stick Man: WRONG! It's 122! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Lifestream: Dammit. You're smart. I'll cough 'em up.  
  
Vincent: *whispers* Is it just me, or are these guys incredibly...DUMB?  
  
Everybody: *nod*  
  
Lifestream: Now just give me a little punch in the stomach!  
  
Stick Man: Where's your stomach?  
  
Lifestream: I have no clue.  
  
Stick Man: Oh well. *starts punching the Lifestream everywhere* *ends up punching him in the very manly area*  
  
Lifestream: X_X NOT THERE!  
  
Stick Man: o_O;  
  
????: Woo-ooo-ooo!  
  
Everybody: *turn their head*  
  
Deekz: Heyloooooooo everybodyyyyyyyyy! *falls over* *gets up* *hic*  
  
Everybody: O_O;;  
  
Rude: Hello everybody o_o;  
  
*everybody else who died appear*  
  
Reno: Did you get Deekz drunk?  
  
Rude: No o_O;  
  
Deekz: Hee-hee! *hic* Woooo! *falls over again*  
  
Lifestream: Wait a minute! How come they're alive!  
  
Elena: The faeries. I'm telling you, there were some faeries in that belly of your's, and they helped us out.  
  
Lifestream: Dangit! I knew I should've taken a crap earlier!  
  
Everybody: o_O;;;  
  
Stick Man: Hah-ha! My work here is done! Remember, 1+1 is 122! *disappears*  
  
Red XIII: What's with him?  
  
Reno: He's incredibly stupid.  
  
Deekz: *hic* *falls on Reno* *hic* Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey- looooooooooooooooooo!  
  
Reno: O_O; *picks up Deekz* Okay, time to go.  
  
Deekz: *hic* Oooo! Nice *hic* body! *hic hic*  
  
Reno: O_O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; WELL?! I SAID LET'S GO!  
  
Everybody: o_O;;; *nod and run back to the Highwind*  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: ...bwahahahha...the true evil has come! Me DRUNK! o_O; Maybe not...  
  
Audience: *give my evil glares*  
  
Me: Whattttttttttt? O_O; Oh, sorry for the long wait. Bad me. *slaps herself* Wooo-oooo! *hic* Sorry. 


	5. Night 5...

A Night With Rufus & The Turks  
  
By: Deekz  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Squaresoft. Or Final Fantasy VII. Or any other of the Final Fantasies. And I don't the FF7 characters either, although it would be nice to... *smiles evilly*  
  
  
  
Deekz: *sober now* Heehee, where we go now?!  
  
Reno: Isn't that for YOU to choose?  
  
Deekz: Oh, yeah. Well, we're going to Komodo Island!  
  
Reno: Where the hell is that?  
  
Deekz: It's somewhere far, far away... *stops piloting the Highwind and sits down* Sit down my friends, and I shall tell you a story.  
  
Everybody: *sit down* o_O;  
  
Deekz: This is a story of Bob Blob, a man who wondered into the Komodo Island on accident. When he first set foot in there, he died. Isn't it a great story?  
  
Everybody: ...o_o;  
  
Barret: No, it f***ing sucks! AHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Deekz: WHY YOU! *lunges at Barret and beats him over the head with a rabid gerbil*  
  
Cid: ...why did I let this girl pilot MY Highwind?  
  
Cloud: I don't know. Maybe when you were alive you never said anything about it.  
  
Cid: Oh. Well guess what?! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!  
  
Everybody: *stop fighting and look up* AHHHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
  
Cid: We're gonna fly off...the edge of the world!  
  
Everybody: *gasp*  
  
Rufus: Aren't we supposed to end up on the OTHER side of the world?  
  
Cid: That's what YOU think...  
  
Rufus: ...o_o;  
  
Cid: ...I love you Shera! *cries as the Highwind crashes into...The Place Where No Man Has Wondered Into Except Our Team Who Are Incredible Idiots And Won't Last A Millisecond Against The Ants Of Death So The Story Is Going To End Here Or Is It? AKA the Unknown Land*  
  
* * *  
  
Deekz: Uhnnn…where are we?  
  
Some Weird Voice From Above: You are in the Unknown Land, where the chimps of Congo don't stop humping—wait, that was the line for Travel Channel's Top 10 Sexy Beasts…  
  
Deekz: …O.O Don't bring back those memories…oh, please don't…I saw that show…dis…turb…ing…  
  
Some Weird Voice From Above: *ahem* I have it under control! You are in the Unknown Land, the place were everything is…um…unknown to any normal people…which means that you and your little troupe are not normal.  
  
Deekz: Why, thank you. You know…I tried real hard to get that reputation of being a psycho that indulges in impaling people with sporks that turn them into intergalactic aliens who speak gibberish…  
  
Yuffie: . That's what she did to me!  
  
Some Weird Voice From Above: Well, now that that's been cleared, I must go now! *somehow makes an exit, even though he's invisible*  
  
Arakune: *skips in, wearing a white dress" La la la! Time to collect the flowers! ^.^  
  
Reno: Heeey! *walks over to Arakune* How ya doing today?  
  
Arakune: …I'm doing fine. Where'd you come from?  
  
Reno: Fine…very fine…  
  
Arakune: o.O;; *there's a sudden gust of wind, and it blows Arakune's dress up…revealing a slight bulge in the undies*  
  
Reno: WHAT THE F***ING HELL?! A GUY?!  
  
Arakune: I am NOT ugly! Don't make me mutilate you like I did to Kira! .  
  
Kira: *runs by* HAHAHA! IT HAD NO EFFECT BECAUSE I AM LUCIFER! I AM EVIL! XDDDDDD WATCH ME JUMP OFF THIS CLIFF AND…NOT DIE! *jumps off the cliff* *splooge*  
  
Reno: Uh…  
  
Deekz: *grabs Reno by his ponytail* C'mon, let's go. -.-;  
  
Arakune: *as the group leaves, he yells back* BE CAREFUL! FOR THE YARD DUTIES WHO DON'T ALLOW YOU ON THE GRASS ARE COMING! THEY ARE COMING! AS WELL AS THE ANTS THAT ARE HIGH ON RICE! THEY ARE COMING! THEY ARE COMING!  
  
Deekz: …whatever… *walks on the grass* La dee da…  
  
Yard Duty: *blows her whistle* GET OFF THE DAMN GRASS!  
  
Deekz: !.! *runs off the grass* Damn PMSy yard duty! .  
  
Yard Duty: What'd you say?!  
  
Deekz: …NOTHING! *runs*  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: No  
  
Yuffie: Are we there yet?  
  
Deekz: NO, DAMNIT! *brandishes her spork and viciously beats Yuffie over the head with it*  
  
Yuffie: x.x;;;  
  
Cloud: WHY MUST YOU KILL EVERYONE?!  
  
Deekz: Because…I WANT TO, DAMNIT!  
  
Cloud: …damn PMSy girl…  
  
Deekz: *beats Cloud* SHADDUP!  
  
Cloud: GAHH! OKAY, OKAY!  
  
Deekz: Thank you…  
  
*and they continue their journey…*  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, it's been about half a year since I've updated this. Well, the 5th chapter is up, if anyone is still keeping track of this. O.o;; Sorry, I've just been getting real lazy and losing interest…x.x;; 


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